"The Good Life"

This morning I was watching ESPN on my bootleg cable when a story came on about Lebron James. The supposed air apparent to Micheal Jordan is currently building a home for himself and his family. This is the same kid who as a senior in high school signed a contract with Nike to wear and promote their shoes and accessories for the princely sum of 90 Million Dollars. I don't know what his NBA contract numbers are, but let's just say the kid is financially 'set'.

The plans for the home include its own bowling alley, a barber shop, and a 40'x 60' two story closet to house the clothes he needs in order to make his way through the world today.

After hearing this story, any feelings of myself perhaps not deserving the many rewards that the penny billionaires system of monetary domination may one day yield went right out the window. I am only happy that God had the foresight not to make me rich as a young man. Who knows what kind of crap I would have convinced myself I needed if I had immeasurable wealth at the age of 19.

So if anyone out there has any reservations about sending us money because they fear it might somehow make us lose sight of what is important in life, have no fear, I don't even want my own bowling shoes. The next time you go to your local lanes I may be right there with you searching the racks lined up along the back wall for that perfect house ball.

0NLY 999,999,000 MORE PENNY(S) TO GO

Recently I was called "Lazy Bastard," and "Moocher." The writer wondered if my mother was shamed by our website PennyBillionaires.net...The answer is, Mister, not as shamed as your mother would be if she heard you callously berating the working poor.

On a lighter note, last week we received a real and genuine Paypal donation. 10 bucks!?! Damn! Wow! Whoopee....For real, it's spring my favorite time of year and I got a 1/3 share of a ten dollar Paypal contribution. It didn't take much, life is good. We now have over 1000 penny(s), it is hard to imagine that less than one month ago we had none. We have already achieved 1 millionth of our goal of 1 billion penny(s) American. What was a seemingly impossible goal of 1,000,000,000 penny(s) is now a somehow achievable goal of only 999,999,000 more penny(s). Oh joie de vivre....wait, that's French....I remember Kerry once made a long list of currency we would accept via the mail and then inexplicably said "no french!" Personally I'm all good with the French, so, you know, if you've got any French money, Euros, Francs etc...put them in an envelope with c/o Pepper written above our address in tasteful pastel serif flourishes. Thanks French people and Happy Spring everyone.

Progress

I am in the penny billionaires studio today. I needed to come in so I can communicate with the outside world in some way. Rob is working on his new series of paintings and I am using his Internet service to do e mails. Apparently we received our first official donation via pay pal. That along with the hand delivered two dollars and change we received on Monday takes us up to about the twelve dollar mark. Who would have guessed making money was this easy.

I used to use my neighbors computer for e mails, but theirs is no longer working. I hope it is nothing that I did. I swear I only went on Barely Illegal's website once. I now walk the mile back and forth from my house to Rob's. I have lost thirty pounds over the course of the winter. If anyone out there wants to know how to lose weight fast I have a program.

STEP 1- Get rid of your car. That's right, you don't need it anyway. I personally cannot afford one myself so I have structured my life around the original form of transportation. I figure that right now I am walking at least ten miles a week just getting to the places I want to go. Sometimes I wonder what the people driving in their cars are thinking when they see me casually strolling through the streets of Reading Pennsylvania. When I glance over at the line of traffic stopped at a light in town I try to imagine where all of these people are going in their personal transportation devices. The fat one in the red S.U.V is probably going to see her doctor to complain about knee pain of some sort, never taking the time to realize that the human knee is not meant to carry 150lbs of weight. I bet if she just walked to her doctors office a couple of times a week just to say hi, she would soon find herself looking and feeling better without the insane medical bills.

STEP 2- Eat less. The American diet is based on ingesting 2000 calories a day. That is an insane amount of food. I don't know the official consumption rate of the rest of the world, but I imagine it is probably far less. I cannot afford anything these days besides beans and rice. These two food groups are probably your best bet for cheap whole foods. I turned to the nutritional information located on the backs of these packages and realized I would practically have to eat the whole bag of beans and half of a five pound bag of rice in order to reach 2000 calories for the day. I am a very creative cook because lets face it, there are only so many recipes for rice and beans, but the great thing is if you don't go out and buy a giant variety of foods, no matter how well you cook it is nearly impossible to over eat.

STEP 3- Stop watching T.V. The reality in reality television is that while you are watching someone have a life, yours is passing you by. Do something else.


I know that it is probably impossible for most people to follow any one of these helpful tips. Lets face it we are all bombarded with images of people living the 'good life'. I have even been caught up in that view of life in the past. As long as I had a nice car, the coolest clothes, and the newest electronic gizmo to show off to everyone, so that I could let them know at a glance that everything in my life was just fine, I convinced myself that everything was alright. What a farce. That nice car was killing the very earth I depend on for life, creating war and carnage for people in possession of the fuel I needed to make it go. Those clothes were probably sewn by some poor 10 year old Asian kids, working for pennies a day in deplorable conditions halfway around my world(out of site out of mind). And that electronic gizmo was the coolest beeper that you ever saw back in 1993.

The point is that everything is related in someway, and maybe I will never need my own computer, or will never need a car again, and the world will be a better place in some small way. I am at a point in my life where I am willing to sacrifice certain conveniences in my life. I feel no different now than I did when I accumulated things. In fact I feel the same, insecure and uptight. Its not because of what I have or don't, it's because I can feel in my soul that things are not right in the world. I am connected to everyone in the world in some way, and if you take all the experiences of everyone and put them into a blender that is the knot that has been in my stomach for as long as I can remember.

So the next time I see that lady going to her doctor, I hope she is walking on my side of the street so that I can give her a friendly hello, and have some kind of real human experience. Maybe for that one second she won't feel that tweak in her knee and I will feel less of a knot in my stomach.

Dinged-Up

Paypal assured me it is now fully functional. They tell me no deposits have been made to the PennyBillionaires.net account which is for want of a word, unfortunate. My only credit card was suspended today, which was another highlight of this rich day. Paypal assured me, however, that it is now fully functional.

Today we were gifted with 192 penny(s) and 1 nickel. Our running total is now 207 penny(s). Once again the money came hand delivered which does nothing to advance our online mission. Nether-the-less the donation was of course received with gratitude. I feel a long way from penny-billionairedom, and I have to remind myself that it is 20 times closer today than it was yesterday. Our fortunes have increased overnight by a factor of 20 and I am still totally broke. Today it is difficult to remember my good fortune, my good health, my good friends. Today my spirit feels dinged up. I have to dig deep to resurrect the force, somewhere in here I believe.

I believe the good people of this world will see our mission, the mission of Hamilton, Weaver, and Pepper, to escape poverty 1 unwanted penny at a time for it's honest simplicity and harmlessness and they will help. I believe this help will come because everybody can appreciate a good luck success story. Everybody would like it to happen for someone, especially for someone that they have taken a personal interest in helping. I am grateful that you have taken the time to read this. I am grateful to have taken the time to write it. I have chosen a life of service thru the arts and all I desire is the opportunity to continue to serve, I only ask you to help by sending me your unwanted and discarded copper colored loose change. Thank you for your time.

Steeper Territory Ahead

My friend Beth just saved 39cents by handing me her penny(s). Huh? What a wonderful new concept, making a personal delivery of penny(s) rather than buying a stamp. Thanks Beth! These 9 penny(s) are the first real currency we, the Penny Billionaires.net, have received. Today I am proud to announce a 900% increase in our actual, as opposed to virtual, net worth. I have no idea what our virtual net worth is yet because although three donors have assured us they have unselfishly and generously made Paypal contributions, Paypal has not allowed us access to our account because they require yet more information. How much information can possibly satisfy them, they have full access to a bank account in long standing, social security number information, family history information, e-address information and vast amounts of other information. So as it stands, there are now 10 actual penny(s) in our penny collection, not counting penny(s) lost or stolen via the mail or penny(s) sent thru Paypal. Of this I am certain, in less than 1 month our business assets have increased 900% which sure is going to look great in the financial report. Can you imagine the pitch of that graph?

Don't do it for me, do it for them....

It's been a week. Hell week. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory opens tomorrow and the set is finally finished. There is also an 8" ice encrusted carpet of snow to negotiate before one can arrive at the theater. Pennsylvania Youth Theatre is, as it's name suggests, largely comprised of school age youth. They will also have to negotiate the same snow trap I find myself recently liberated from (drive-time 2 hrs) before arriving for their opening performance, and because of a spate of inclement weather that unexpectedly corresponded a little too closely with their rehearsal schedule will find themselves woefully ill-prepared. On the bright side I predict the Audience will be thin. Thank God, apparently. The set however is fabulous.

Did I mention the flu? Yeah well yours truly weathered that this week too. The astute reader may have noticed the large gap in this blog, just as my theatrical director noticed the 2 day gap in my labors, the 2 days I spent in bed recovering from the flu. The same flu I got when my immune system became weakened while working 16 hr days as a consequence of the gruelling installation schedule, which as mentioned in a prior blog entry was an uncompensated "addendum" to my contract for the set design and construction. Hamilton and Weaver truly came through, like a semen stain on a little black dress, for me on this one. They are great guys and true friends. They deserve PennyBillionaires billions by the truckload, did I mention they performed this service, ehm...building and painting the set while I slept with flu, for well, mostly no money. They did it because they are just great people, they are my friends, and they did this thing not only for me but for the benefit of the entire community of PaYT, and for the greater community of parents and friends of the performers, stage hands, tech people and the audiences that will see this show, which incidentally, is sold out in advance for it's entire run. Thank you people of Bethlehem Pa, for your encouragement and support. I could go on with praise and thanks for my partners, or I could simply state "spare us a penny guv, go ahead make their day."

Fisher Price.... my first blog

Welcome to my first official blog. I helped Pepper out today in an attempt to get his set done. I wish I could say it was exciting but that would be lying. I think that I'm really just avoiding the fact that I need to get a real job. Anything that can take my mind away from that inevitable situation is a welcome distraction.

I'm thinking of maybe getting a job in the food service industry. I have only ever filled in at a few places. Mostly dish washing and other glamorous positions. I know that whatever job I find I am going to hate in +/- 2 weeks, but I hate being broke more.

I donated yet another piece of art to a charity event on Tuesday. Once again I convinced myself that my generosity would pay off. Maybe somebody would want to buy something besides just bidding on a donation. What a sucker I am. No matter how many times I give, it never comes back. They just call up looking for donations for some other charity.

Do people actually think artists have money to burn? Its alright though, because I got the last laugh. My phone is shut off again so they couldn't beg me for art even if they wanted to.

Born Against

Damn it's late and I'm tired. Knackered. This disease I have of artmaking is sometimes overwhelming. There is one day left before the set for PYT is disassembled and shipped out. That is a serious undertaking. There are only 16 hrs available for installation, I am already burned out. You would think at a time like this a klaxon would scream in my head announcing the end of creativity and the beginning of get it done now. It never ever does. There is a moment when this happens to me. it is the moment when it needs to happen and never a moment before that. I love it here, it is trench warfare, it is where the juice happens, it is the flavor. Tomorrow there are a long list of props to be constructed, today I revised their design because they will be better if....so it'll be another big day. Funny really, when I'm in this thing, this countdown, I am at war with something, sometimes convention, sometimes aesthetic, or something else. This time it's simply the show. These last hours will make the show better and the gravy will flow. I hate being here and I love being here, it is a struggle, it is lonely, it is exhausting. It is a joy, it is surprising, it is rewarding. The paradox is that when I'm in it I can't wait to get out of it, but when it's over I always look forward to the next time, the next battle. It is a war to me, a war against mediocrity, against commonplace, against boring. I deserve this job of set design and construction, and of artist, because I am born to be it. I am first and foremost a maker.

Work Forward Slash Service

Today I am working on a theatrical set for Pennsylvania Youth Theatre's upcoming attraction "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". This service is one of the things I do to"make a living" which is an overstatement. I chose the word service with care because while enjoying this work immensely the compensation I receive barely keeps me in chicken thighs (which despite being the cheapest cut of chicken are in fact about the most tasty), does not heat my space, or pay for medical insurance, or enable me to build a bathroom, or kitchen, or plumbing of any sort, or clothe me...in fact this work forward slash service barely pays my rent. The set is to be installed overnight this Sunday thru Monday an inconvenience for which I will not be compensated in any traditionally conceived manner like overtime or doubletime. No, for this labor of pleasure it is necessary for me to PAY FOR ADDITIONAL HELP. Thankfully Weaver my Pennybillionaire associate is helping me and has also agreed to accept a pittance from me for his generosity. You better believe I have gratitude. It was at such a moment not too long ago that the inspiration for Pennybillionaires occurred. This idea is no joke to us, Hamilton, Weaver and I are industrious and employed artists who are happy to service society at large with our artwork and ideas because we passionately believe in the power of art to transform the lives of others. I am self-supporting, well if you can describe my income as supporting, and committed, and more or less permanently employed in my endeavours, yet because of the nature of my chosen profession am unable to get ahead, you know, to move up and out so to speak. I have always been and will always be a self supporting artist, my background is blue collar humble, yet I have been a professional artist for 26 years, a feat remarkable in itself. The point is people my brothers and I need help financially, please consider this while you peruse our website and I hope you enjoy the light hearted manner of our request to you for funding i.e. by sending us your penny(s) contributions.

Giant Killer?

A STARTLING FACT ABOUT "PAYPAL CONTIBUTIONS BUTTON"...it occurred to me that maybe if someone donated say a penny that it might not clear thru Paypal because they charge 30cents + 2.9% to 4.9% on each transaction, which would mean that either Paypal would not accept such a contribution on behalf of it's customer (as a matter of say courtesy), or the unthinkable would happen and Paypal would (for reasons of say self interest) acknowledge a contribution proffered to it's customer of say 1cent and then bill said customer for the service of handling this transaction, which if my math is correct would look something like this:-

Contributor Donation = 1c
Paypal Fee = 30c + 2.9% to 4.9% (and you know they would charge us the full 4.9%) = 31.5c
Net Profit to Recipient (the Paypal customer) 1c minus 31.5c = minus 30.5c
Or more likely because technically there is no 1/2c Paypal would "substitute" the rounded up version of minus 30.5c = minus 31c

Net Profit to Paypal = positive 31.5c or more likely a full 32c

To sum up: A Contributor donation of 1c would cost the "charity" or Paypal customer 31c while Paypal would profit 32c......if my math is correct this would be a STARTLING FACT!

On the donations set up page of the Paypal website there is a demonstration model, which I looked at, apparently it was a real website that included an "open donations" button so that the contributor could choose to donate any amount at all. The website was called "NationalReview.com" (whatever that is) and as a kind of practical query I donated 1c US to see if it would fly. The experience of seeing my donation accepted was one of shock and awe. In slack jawed disbelief I went immediately to my Paypal account to verify whether this transaction had occurred and to my amazement apparently it had...one penny US. As my head literally spun I then visited my bank account and sure enough the transaction had posted there too. Can you imagine? The repercussions of this little known fact are how do I say this, potentially bankrupting. If a million people donated say a single Paypal penny to someone like say "NationalReview.com" it would cost said recipient something like $310,000 in Paypal fees. Why Paypal would allow such a travesty to occur I cannot imagine, oh wait, yeah...they would profit something like $320,000. This could have earth shaking repercussions for an organisation that relies on contributions to fund say an unpopular yet dominant point of view. I would not want to be such an organisation and have this type of information about their Achilles heel passed around within a large network of some sort that contained a substantial base of say political opposition.

That's all I got, except, can't remember where they say this but... you heard it here first.

Includes Utilities

There is now a sheet of yellow legal paper taped to my door with Pennybillionaires.net and the # 302 clearly written in black sharpie, which demonstrates some real class. Today I think we established a Paypal donations button to our site. I don't for certain know if it actually works, if it does our site is finished, which somehow seems pathetic. I am like a guy huddled over a drilled hole in an ice flow waiting for fish to jump into his lap. I live in this warehouse with no plumbing and a kind of camp kitchen set-up. It is around 0 degrees out there tonight so my little electric oil filled radiators are working overtime just to take the raw edge off one area of my space. A hat and coat and thermal underwear are permanently attached to my body. Today the landlord stopped by he noticed the "space" heaters then casually mentioned that we needed to discuss the terms of my lease which of course includes utilities. Meanwhile it turns out he was the buffoon who gave our penny(s) contributions mail to my neighbor. Maybe he should be talking to that guy about his utility bill. Dinner was good, 1 dble Mc cheeseburger from the $ menu, got nothing else to say about that.

Pilfered Penny(s)

OK it's been a while but I finally Learned myself how to access our blog.

After several attempts I cornered my mailman, the same mailman who issued me the specific Pennybillionaires.net address, it seems that our mail has been going to another recipient in our building. This fella, the recipient, was also unable to identify his "office" by the # on his door, and it seems decided to keep our 2 pieces of mail and our (so we have been informed) 8 pennies, 1 Cal. State Lottery ticket and 1 paperclip for himself. So far our fortune is not growing but my enthusiasm for our project and my faith in the altruistic nature of our fellow web users is not diminished. In fact the opposite is true because our campaign is working. Imagine my facial expression as dumb delight and surprise. Well, nothing to see here.....yet, but I'll keep you informed